A 5am practice doesn't tolerate mystery errors

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The argument for fixing Welford's cold-start flakiness with a health check wasn't really about Welford — it was about the coach hitting LAP at 5am with no debugging path and zero tolerance for ambiguity. High-stakes, time-pressured, non-technical users compress the cost of opaque failures enormously. When the operator can't open a ticket or read a log, the system owes them a deterministic state instead of a mystery.

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